Testimony

“Do swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?”
“You will find my young friend that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on your point of view.”
“Sir.”
“General actually.”
“General? Alright General, just yes or no will do.”
“These are not the answers you are looking for.”
“These are not the answers I am looking for. Wait, we’ve only asked if you will tell the truth. Could you try to stay on topic?”
“As my master would say, Do or not there is no try.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”

Three Laws

We have only three laws. But they are so complicated that no one understands them any more. When the founding fathers laid down the laws they insisted that there never be more than three laws. In those days the laws were simple. Don’t steal, don’t kill, and don’t eat marshmallows on Sundays. They left no other instructions, or advice about interpreting these laws, so they lawyers have been adding to them ever since. Now the list of things that can’t include marshmallows is over two hundred pages long. Ted got dragged away the other day for a marshmallow flavored soda.